Blog every day in May Challenge: Get real... Share something that you are struggling with right now.

Super pregnant with Delilah May

When we were trying to get pregnant the first time around, everyone knew about it. Everyone knew that I have wanted children forever and that we would start trying right away. I was very open about it and I honestly did not think that it would take as long as it did. As the months went on and on and I took negative after negative after negative test, it really got to me.  Then I ended up on fertility meds and everything really got to me. I got off the meds after 3 cycles and we went on a vacation to Mexico. In Mexico, my dad scheduled me for two fertility massages and two weeks after returning home, we found out that I was pregnant.

Well, here we are again. I haven't talk that much about it but it is not a secret either. We are trying for baby #2! I had hoped that this time around it would not be as much of a struggle but I also prepared myself the best I could for it to take a while. We are only a few months in and I have noticed that once again with each passing month it is emotionally taking a toll on me. Just a few days ago I broke down for the first time trying for this baby. I said to Pat "I just don't understand why I can not get pregnant." He quickly realized that my tears were going into a panic and rather than making some sort of joke, he grabbed Delilah and brought her to me. She gave me a kiss and made me smile and laugh instantly. Pat reminded me that I can get pregnant and I will. 

I share this time in my life for a few reasons. If I don't talk about it throughout the process, I bottle in my emotions and I eventually explode. Even while sharing this journey, I may emotionally erupt a few more times. It's bound to happen especially if I end up back on fertility meds. Another reason is that there are people in my life who I care about very much who are struggling and people who I know who have struggled in the past with fertility. I'm sure that there are also many people who are struggling with fertility who don't talk about it. I want anyone who is having a difficult time with fertility or anything to know that they are not alone. We were blessed with Delilah and I am so grateful every day to have her in my life. I hope that we will be blessed with another child and that anyone else who is struggling will be blessed with a child also.