I survived today

I did not get much sleep last night. My mind was racing, my stomach was in knots and my nerves got the best of me. I was up this morning with my husbands alarm at 4:15am and there was no hope for me falling back asleep. My procedure was today at 1pm. I spent this gloomy, rainy, emotion filled morning snuggling my daughter. The fear of what could be found and what that could mean for us being able to or not able to have another baby had me sick to my stomach with tears in my eyes. The build up to the procedure was the hardest part.

 Once in the car and on our way, I started to calm a little. The sun came out and my mom left me a voicemail that it was a beautiful day and to imagine that I was on the beach during the procedure and that all of the news would be good. Patrick and Delilah sat right outside the procedure room and greeted my Dr. just before he entered the room. I was in the room with my favorite ultrasound tech. who always makes me feel so comfortable. I told her how much more I enjoyed my time with her when she was showing me my baby. She agreed that babies make everything much more fun but she also gave me the play by play for the procedure and made it sound like it wouldn't be so bad. 

Once my Dr. entered the room, everything seemed to happen so fast. I didn't have time to imagine that I was on the beach and honestly, I didn't need it. The catheter was put into place with slight discomfort and a pinch. Saline was then infused into my body which brought on a moment of uncomfortable cramping. Then my Dr. whose excitement and choice of words always gives me a good laugh instantly blurted out "that is a beautiful lining isn't it!" My ultrasound tech said, "yes it is" and I then asked with slight confusion "mine?" He laughed and said, "yes" and then directed my eyes to the screen where he went into further detail for me. So, from the words of my Dr., my insides are beautiful! That is music to my ears. The images were sent off to radiology, and I still have to wait for official results, but my Dr. and tech did not see a tumor, a fibroid or anything that looked to be of any concern. 

I experienced about 2 hrs of discomfort afterwards and as of now, I'm not feeling too bad. Emotionally, I wasn't sure how I would feel after today. I said before that if they did not find anything, I may still be frustrated due to the fact that my infertility is still considered unexplained infertility. I was wrong. I feel really wonderful. Next step blood work, a whole lot of blood work. 

Thank you to everyone who has been so loving and supportive. I love all of your sweet messages, comments and stories that you have shared with me. I strongly believe in the power of positivity and good vibes. For those of you who are on your own path of infertility, you are always on my mind and in my heart.