Blog everyday in May Day 3 - Topic - things that make you uncomfortable.

Things that make me uncomfortable

All eyes on me. 

When I can see or feel all eyes on me, I have what I think is a very strange reaction.

 Uncontrollable laughter takes over me. 

My husband and I met at a wedding. He tried to pull me out onto the dance floor a few times and I was so uncomfortable. I told him that I needed a drink first and he ran right over to get me one. With drink in hand, he successfully pulled me out onto the dance floor. I was paralyzed with laughter. I stood there in the middle of the floor bent over laughing hysterically all night while he danced all around me. He is an amazing dancer and I did not know what to do with myself. He thought my giggles were adorable. 

Then on our wedding day as we said our vows and the tears rolled down Patrick's face, I laughed so uncontrollably that I could barely breath or get the words out. Standing up there with me, my girlfriend Melissa said "oh no, she's having a panic attack" it was hilarious and so true. She knows me so well.

And the list goes on:

Large crowds

Small/tight spaces

Extreme heat

Conflict

Angry/aggressive people

Racial rants/comments

Raw meat

Dirty hands

My after baby boobs

Blog everyday in May: Day 2 -Tell us something that you are good at or know a lot about - Hawaiian Temple Bodywork

My friend Jessica is taking the blog everyday in May challenge. Each day there is a specific topic to blog about. Today is day 2 of 31 straight days of blogging. I missed day one and I will probably miss a few more but I thought that it would be fun to jump in.

Today's topic: tell us something that you are good at or know a lot about.

Hawaiian Temple Bodywork Sacred Lomi Lomi Massage

I have been a massage therapist for 13 years. After graduating from Wellness & Massage in 2000, I went on to train with Hawaiian temple bodywork. My training started with an intense 4 day workshop in Nashville TN. This was not just another ceu course where you learn a new modality to incorporate into your practice. Tom and Donna the amazing founders of Sacred Lomi teach sacred lomi with the belief that we are each far more than our physical bodies and that our lives and our influence extend far beyond our knowing. They have designed the course of this healing art to empower us therapists to heal ourselves first and then offer healing to others. After my first 4 day workshop I was renewed, refreshed and empowered. The self work that we did each day was the best therapy that I have ever had. I was not expecting it and many of the techniques made me very uncomfortable. At that time in my life, I had a ton of emotional baggage that I needed to let go of. My emotional release throughout the training came out in extreme laughter. I had a serious case of the giggles that went on for 4 days. After the 4 days ended, I wanted more. I wanted so much more.

I left a piece of my heart in Nashville and continued to travel to Nashville for some time before making a move to Nashville that kept me there for 9 months. Life took me on a bit of a roller coaster ride and after a call that a very dear friends father had passed I packed up the car and drove straight back to Chicago to be with them. A few months after my return to Chicago, I jumped on a plane and flew to Maui Hawaii to be with my lomi family. I stayed in the rain forest at a beautiful retreat center. It was heaven. Every morning started with sunrise yoga. The afternoon were filled with bodywork and the evening with self work.  We had an incredible chef who provided us with 3 delicious vegetarian meals each day. I could have stayed forever, and I almost did. 

There are not a lot of lomi lomi body workers in Illinois. When clients see Hawaiian Lomi Lomi massage on my menu it always strikes interest. When I read the topic for today's post, I knew right away that Lomi Lomi was what I wanted to share with you. So, what is it?

In short, Sacred lomi lomi is an ancient form of healing brought to the Hawaiian islands by its earliest Polynesian settlers. Practiced in ancient Hawaiian temples by Hawaiian shaman and kahuna. Lomi lomi is a way of life. It is the practice of living Aloha. The flowing forearm technique used in a lomi session along with prayer, breath work, presence, hula and the aloha spirit is designed to relax the mind so that the body can surrender, let go and receive. It is difficult to give a full, true lomi session in the spa setting that I am in but I definitely incorporate my lomi training into every massage I give. My lomi training not only formed the therapist that I am today but it also shaped the person that I have become. 

Not so deep and very random thoughts.

Earth day should be celebrated everyday.

House hunting is not as fun as it should be.

Razor burn really burns and it is not worth the rush.

I don't trust railroad tracks.

People who get pregnant easily are very lucky.

I want to go back on my diet but I can't.

Friends who you do not see often enough but make you cry happy tears when you unexpectedly run into them, hold a special place in your heart.

You never know what tomorrow will bring. Be kind, loving, happy and grateful.

Smile at strangers and say hello. You just might turn their day around.

There is beauty in rainy days.

Going through bins of old clothes brings back a lot of memories.

I wish more people would give cloth diapering a chance. I definitely prefer cloth over disposable.

I just realized I need to complete 46 hrs of  ceu's by June 30th. How will I accomplish this with a toddler?

I think I will get a mani/pedi this week and I should treat myself more often.

My daughter has a much better wardrobe than I do.

I'm not ready for this summer heat.

The weekends have been filling up with so many fun events.

I'm convinced that my child is a child prodigy. I'm sure everyone feels that way about their child, right?

I want a magnolia tree.

House Hunting Heartbreak

Our house hunting journey has intensified. We have gone from viewing on-line listings to viewing actual homes. We have viewed our first three homes and to my surprise, I fell in love easier than I expected. 

House #1 - Gorgeous neighborhood & gorgeous exterior of home and property. In the first minute of entering the home, I must have told Patrick " I love this house" 10 times. The staircase rocked my world. I'm also a sucker for a beautiful formal dining room. I know that most people find them dated and to be a waste of space but to me they scream happy family. This dining room was the perfect size with beautiful moldings and a stunning front window. The kitchen was gigantic, perfect for Patrick :) but plain and dated. I love that we could make it our own. My heart is longing for white kitchen cabinets and gray countertops. I'm certain my cooking skills would improve. 

There is a sunroom that is the perfect space for so many things. I could see such lovely breakfast in this space. The living room and family room are darling. French doors welcome you into the living room. The staircase down to the basement once again rocked my world. The basement is a walkout showing views of the beautiful property. The basement is finished, but an open canvas which is great for Patrick and his skills. Surprisingly this very large home only has a 2 car garage. A disappointment, but the ceiling is so height that Patrick could put his hot rod on a lift. 

We made our way up the beautiful staircase to the upstairs 4 bedrooms and 2 bathroom to find small spaces. The master was cute with an adorable balcony but the room was small and there was not a walk in closet or room to build one. The master bath was outdated which is fine, I would rather make it my own, but the space was so small. I didn't mind the 3 other rooms. They all had great light and beautiful views but the bathroom was small. What if we had three children? This space was too small for them to share. There is an additional bedroom and full bath in the basement but we wouldn't put a young child down there. 

We have tried every way to reconfigure the upstairs and it just doesn't seem doable even with ripping out the entire floor. Patrick also felt that the neighborhood was all white collar. Like my girlfriend Melissa said about her husband, he needs to see a pick up truck in the neighborhood. 

House #2 - Located in our #1 location. This house is in the heart of the village that I grew up in. Finding a 3,000+ sq ft home here for under $700,000 in good condition is most likely impossible. The homes here are unique and extra special. Mostly historical landmarks that have been restored. If you look really hard you might be able to find a deal for the area and I thought that I did. 

This house was listed well over our price point and then one day it dropped $150,000. We went to see it that day and then we went back the very next day and as we entered the door the realtor just got word that a full price offer was made and they were still excepting offers. This move was well played by the seller. Now people are fighting for it and going well over the asking price. We walked away but we were not heartbroken. The house needed to be taken down to the studs and would have been much to expensive in the end. I'm sure someone is rehabbing it and we will see it back on the market for 1 million. 

We are still hopefully that something will pop up, but not holding our breath. There are complete tear downs listed at $500,000. Crazy! We could buy in Hawaii with an ocean view for what we can get for our money here.  On a side note, there is a new HGTV show called Hawaii Life that I am obsessed with. I had to stop watching because I was ready to pack my bags. 

House #3 - The heartbreak begins. Equestrian Estates is a subdivision that we love. It's more of a village within a small town. Every time we drive past, I tell Patrick how much I love it. This is another area that is really hard to touch but I found a gem that was priced to move fast. The day that it listed, I scheduled a showing. 

We drove up the long beautiful driveway and my heart went pitter patter. When we walked up to the home, it had such a presence. Like my husband, it stood way up in the sky. We walked in and it felt like Christmas. The home was in excellent condition and move in ready. All we needed to do was cosmetic to make it our own. Patrick was silent which was making me crazy. His silence, I later found out meant that he wanted the house. He knew that it was going to move fast and that we were going to have competition. He told me not to get my hopes up.

 I couldn't sleep that night. I had every room of the house designed. You have to visualize yourself in the home to know that it is right. Well, the disappointment came when they excepted another offer. I felt like someone stole my house from me. I wanted to scream at the owner "but I saw it first!" 

Now I'm just frustrated and wondering how many times will this happen. I'm back to stalking the house listings and waiting for another to pop up and hoping not to be broken hearted again. 

Home Sweet Home.

Our house will be listed very soon and we have started the hunt for our perfect home. I am very, very grateful for the house that Patrick has provided us, but I have never felt like it was our family home. When I moved it, it was very bare and very masculine however, very nice. Patrick is somewhat of a minimalist and he likes things in order and always very clean which I appreciate. He does not like anything out of its place or clutter in any space. He has softened up a lot since the dog and then baby arrived. Some things are just out of your control, but I do my best to keep things clean and organized but Patrick is usually a step ahead of me on that. Along with his great cooking skills, he is very skilled with cleaning, I know, I'm very lucky to have a husband who cooks and cleans, he also grocery shops. 

Finding a place for our family to call home is a very big deal to me. I have not had a place that I have felt completely at home since my childhood home that we moved out of when I was 11. Since then, I have been here, there and just about everywhere. The life that I lived made me who I am today and I am proud of that person but I do not wish these same circumstances on our children. I want them to always feel at home. To always have a home that they love. A home full of family and friends that they love. A home where they feel completely safe. A home where they will create memories that will last a lifetime. I'm not sure that the home that we buy next will be our forever home, in fact I'm sure we will move again at some point, but we plan to spend the next 10 years in this home creating wonderful memories that we can carry with us to our next family home. 

I have never sold a house, as we are preparing to sell ours now, or shopped for a home as we have started to do. We will be renting a storage unit to fill with excess furniture and storage bins to make the house as model looking as possible. I hope that we will not have to live this way for too long as I will miss being surrounded by family photos, nick nacks and trinkets and the bareness of the house may seem slightly depressing. Patrick is thrilled to get a great deal of out things out of our house and for things to be very minimal again. I am hoping to purge myself of many things like the bins and bins of clothes that I have not worn in years and should probably never wear again. Since I was 11, I have lived in over 10 different places. You would think that I would have accumulated much less. 

I am expecting that it will take some time for our house to sell and that we will look at many, many homes before finding our perfect match. Hopefully it will be a smooth process. 

For the love of our Dog.

It was definitely love at first sight when we walked into the shelter and met Ellie-mae for the first time. We had talked about getting a dog for a long time and Ellie-mae was the only dog that I sent information and pictures about to Patrick that got Patrick to say "YES, lets go meet her." That was a little over 2 1/2 years ago and our love for her has continued to grow everyday. 

Day 1! Car ride home after spaying.

When we adopted Ellie we promised to take excellent care of her and vowed to give her the very best life that we could provide for her and I think that so far we have done a pretty fantastic job.

We brought her home after she had been spayed. She was still pretty doped up and I'm sure in some pain and totally confused. We had a welcome basket full of gifts and necessities for her. We wanted her to feel at home. Needless to say we spoiled her like crazy. Just look at those ears and eyes. How could you not fall madly in love with her. 

It was very clear to us that in her first 5 months of life, before she came to us, she had been abused. We wanted her to feel safe and loved. We ended up creating a bit of an issue and have ended up with a dog who is amazing the majority of the time but also has some very bad habits and emotional issues that desperately needed correction. 

The addition of the baby in the house has seemed to have caused some jealousy and Ellie-mae's behavior was becoming more of an issue every day. She definitely loves the baby and is extremely over protective of her. Now that Delilah is walking, she is also afraid of the baby when she comes charging at her swinging her arms and toys. We have never thought that Ellie would harm the baby in any way but Ellie's food aggression made us very nervous. Delilah loves to share her food with the puppy and Ellie is very gentle when taking something from her hand (which we try to avoid) but Delilah loves to share. 

When Patrick, Delilah and I were all in the house Ellie is a wonderful dog. When Patrick would leave in the morning to go to work and for the 12 hrs that he is gone I was dealing with a dog who now had complete control over me and the entire house. I became fearful of a dog that I was so much in love with. 

Taking care of me while I was 9 months pregnant.

Ellie-mae has so many amazing qualities and characteristics but she is very difficult to train. She is very stubborn and set in her ways. Her past abuse was our biggest hurdle to jump through when finding the proper method of training her. She can be very dominating but she is also extremely fearful. It breaks my heart when she shows her fear towards just a simple action of putting on her leash. 

I understood her emotional issues and her reasons for behaving the way that she did. I truly believed that with the right guidance that she could get past this and live a long happy, healthy life and no longer need to guard herself and be fearful that someone was going to hurt her. Just like humans, things happen in life that cause us to behave in a certain way. I went through many struggles in my past and I am pretty proud of the person who I am today. I was not going to give up on my dog.

We were introduced to an amazing man on Sunday who came to our home to work with us and Ellie-Mae. I wont go to deep into my spiritual beliefs but I truly believe that he was spiritually connected to Ellie. He was not just your average man. There was an amazing animal spirit to him. He worked with Ellie and worked with us. He put Ellie in my hands and guided me. I'm so absolutely thrilled to say that life at home with Ellie has completely turned around since Sunday. We once again live in a peaceful, happy home with a puppy who is well on her way to emotional freedom. 

12 months old!

Today, Delilah finally had her 12m well visit. Why so late you ask? Her 12m well visit and this 12m post are happening 1 day before she turns 13 months because we have spent the entire month of January being sick, sick and sick some more. We are so happy for this new month and to be feeling good again. 

While all three of us were sick, we introduced Delilah to Winnie the Pooh the movie. She is now absolutely obsessed with Winnie the Pooh. She sings, claps and bounces up and down the minute the movie comes on. She will do anything you need her to do if you offer her Winnie the Pooh. We do not plan on using bribery and movie entertainment as a form of babysitting, but when mom, dad and baby are so terribly sick, Winnie the Pooh saves the day. 

Along with 2 illness's this month, Delilah also sprouted 3 new teeth. All at once of course just like her first 4. These 3 didn't seem to give her as much trouble coming in as the first 4 did but it is hard to say since she had so much more going on at the time.

 She is off the bottle, but still takes a sippy cup for bedtime. We have been putting up a big fight with her to get her down for bed without it and she always wins the battle. 

She is still obsession with my hair. She twirls it to soothe herself but it is not sweet anymore. Well maybe it is a little sweet. Along with the twirling she pulls and pulls very hard. I have sacrificed a lot of hair for her to be soothed but it needs to come to an end and this battle I will win or else I will be bald very, very soon. 

Our pediatrician pointed it out during our sick visit a few weeks ago. I was holding her after he checked her out and she was sucking her thumb and twirling my hair with her other hand. It didn't even phase me at the time since it happens so much. He asked "is this her thing?" He told me that it needs to stop and that he has a women who has a 3 year old that still needs her hair to sleep. He told me that I will not be that women. Today at her well visit, after her shots, Delilah showed him how much progress she has made on the hair situation, none. 

Our pediatrician is amazing. I enjoy every minute he spends with us and he spends a lot of time with us. I love that after he examines  her that he casual sits and chats with us and seems to really enjoy us. 

Delilah has made big, big progress on her growth. He says that she is going through a big growth spurt. He was very excited as he went over her growth chart with us. In her first six months her weight was always around the 7 percentile. Today at 21 lbs and 14.6 oz she has made a huge jump up to the 50 percentile. Her height has consistently stayed at 50%. Her head gets remeasured by the Dr every visit, why, because it is big. Not off the charts big, but 75% big. Looking at her I don't think that she has a big head, but I do buy her hats that are bigger than her clothes size.

 I asked if it is normal and he said it is perfect and head size is hereditary and then he said "so who has the big head?" Patrick and I both pointed fingers at each other so our pediatrician broke out the measuring tape and measured both of our heads. Hilarious and so fantastic that he is so much fun. Guess whose head is off the charts big... Patrick's! Patrick said she can blame him for her big head and blame me for her big feet, says the man who wears a size 13. 

He predicts that she will be at least 5'10 and that she will have a big jump in height throughout her toddler years. 

She is still definitely allergic or very intolerant to dairy. We were again advised to take her to the allergist and now that she is 1 year and still having issues, we will make the appointment. 

He advised us to wait on trying out peanut butter until we know for sure what her allergies/sensitivities are. She is a really good eater and doesn't turn anything down. She loves her fruits and vegetables. She now eats what we eat with the exception of a few things. She is very entertaining to eat with and everything is yum, yum, yummy with every bite. 

She runs wild through the house with her walkers and she thinks it is hilarious. She has a wagon for her mega blocks that she climbs in and waits for daddy to take her for a ride. She is a fearless thrill seeker. She has found her confidence in hers stride and is now walking on her own. She still likes to reach for my hand and walk with me all around the house and it is adorable. 

She takes big girl baths on her own with our supervision and she loves it. She has also moved up to her big girl carseat another milestone that she is loving. 

Everyday is a thrill and a blessing, even when it is a month long of sick days.