Thursday, May 29, 2014

An announcement filled with love, hope & a very heavy heart

Today was the day that I planned to announce that we are expecting twins. Sadly, we found out today that one of our beautiful baby's heart stopped beating. 

Throughout all of the sickness that I have encountered throughout this pregnancy, I have been overjoyed and beyond blessed to be carrying two babies. 

Our babies had been growing beautifully. Seeing the two of them side by side growing together has been a beautiful and amazing experience. 

After miscarrying at Christmas, finding out that we were expecting again three months later and expecting twins I was incredibly overjoyed. I went in to this pregnancy 100% positive. I was determined and confident that I would not experience another miscarriage ever again. 

Today we experienced another shocking and heartbreaking loss. I'm angry, sad and uneasy. 

The image of both babies side by side absolutely breaks my heart. When we lost our last pregnancy, the thought that we would never know who that child would have been was heartbreaking. Finding out that we were expecting twins, I felt strongly that the baby that we lost was a part of the two that we were now expecting. Now that we have lost another, the part that hurts the most is looking at the one baby whose heart is still beating and seeing that baby's twin by her/his side without a beating heart. They will never know each other and that thought tears me apart. 

We are incredibly blessed to have such a compassionate, loving and understanding daughter. Delilah knows exactly what is going on and her love and understanding fills my broken pieces. 

There is one child growing inside me with a strong and beautiful heart. If you believe in anything, please send this baby and the baby whose heart has stopped love, light and prayers. 

Monday, May 26, 2014

Twelve in 2014: a portrait project

12 in 2014

A portrait project

I am very late to posting my 12 in 2014 May photo but at least we are still in the month of May. I have been very quiet on the blog lately but things have been very, very lively around here. There is so much to share and I will be sharing some very exciting news this week. I hope you are all enjoying the Memorial Day weekend!

Delilah: May 2014

She dresses herself most days. This has been one of her favorite looks this month.