Saturday, February 11, 2012

Look who is 1 Month Old ~ Already!

All of my life I have heard people say "they grow so fast" when it comes to their babies. Already in Delilah's first month I have learned that this is so true. Over the past week, I have found myself saying "she is becoming so independent". Sounds so silly, a 1 month old becoming so independent. 

She was so tiny and extra, extra fragile when she was born. In the hospital, and once we came home, I never slept because I was one of those moms who makes sure her baby is breathing every 5 seconds. I also have a fear of her chocking in her sleep. My fears have eased a tiny bit, and I have managed to get a little bit of rest. 

Another tip that is so true "sleep when the baby is sleeping". Although I agree with this statement, I find it almost impossible. When the baby is sleeping, I get a minuet to wash my face, brush my teeth, change my shirt that most likely has spit up on it, throw in a load of laundry and maybe pour myself a glass of water. By the time Patrick gets home from work, the first thing I want to do is take a shower. It's amazing how fantastic a shower is when you wait all day for it.

 I am slowly starting to get caught up on things, and we are slowly starting to get on a schedule, Kinda. I am very much looking forward to my 6 week after delivery Dr. appointment, and very much looking forward to getting the ok to exercise. Not sure when I will have the energy, or the time for it though, but it will be nice to know that it's an option. 

Delilah 1 Month Old ~ Already!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Welcome to the world Delilah - Part 3

We are now at around hour 18, and I am exhausted. The nurses continue to come into the room about every 15 minuets. The next time the nurse checks me, I have now progressed to 3cm. This is the best news that I have heard in days. They continue to up my pitocin and check in on me. From time to time they move my body and don't say much. I know from the night before that when they do that, it means that the baby's heart rate is dipping again. We have been told over and over that this is not anything to worry about, and her heart rate comes right back up. 

All of a sudden my Dr. came walking in. I assumed that they called him and told him that I was at 3cm and he decided to come right in. I looked at him with so much excitement and I give him a big smile and said "are you excited?, I'm excited"! He looked at me like I was a crazy person and put on his serious face, which I never see from him. He sat down at the edge of my bed. He tells us that the baby is having a hard time and we are going to have to do an emergency c-section. Now my room is packed with nurses and all kinds of equipment is being brought in. They prepped my room for delivery, and also prepped the operating room and called for another Dr. to assist. 

I was completely exhausted at this point and so disappointed. To top things off, my epidural was wearing off and I was getting crazy contractions. All of a sudden I was fully dilated and the baby was coming out. My Dr. looked at me and asked if I wanted to try one push to see if the baby could handle it. I gave it my all, and the baby loved it. Her heart rate was back up, and I was determined to push my baby out as fast as possible. 

The mood completely changed in the room. Patrick was holding one of my legs, and an adorable nurse named Nikki was holding my other leg, my Dr. was in position, and there were at least five other nurses cheering me on. I was completely silent, and focused on my breath. With each contraction, I would take three deep breaths and give three of my best pushes. I was suddenly full of energy and excitement, and not in any pain at all. I remember saying that the baby felt like a fish swimming out of me. Within five contractions, Delilah was out. 

They placed Delilah on my chest and the first thing that I said was "I'll do that again". My Dr. was in shock by the turn of events and at how calmly and quickly I pushed the baby out. I think that it had a lot to do with years of yoga and meditation. I also think that I was due for one part of this pregnancy and birth to be easy, and the delivery was the easiest and best part of it all. 

Welcome to the world Delilah May

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Welcome to the world Delilah - Part 2

So we were now 10 hrs into the induction process and so far nothing positive had happened. I had been told that my Dr would be coming in to make his rounds and that he would most likely break my bag of water. I still had hopes that my water would break on its own, but who was I kidding. My body was just not cooperating with me. I was happy to know that at some point in hopefully the near future I would be seeing my Dr and hopefully he would make some magic happen.

Throughout the morning, nurse after nurse would come into my room and try to push me into getting my epidural. I had been having regular contractions for so long that they really were no big deal. I really only had 2 that I thought were going to kill me. One was during a family dinner at my in laws. It came out of nowhere and I screamed. That was the only time I screamed throughout this entire process, and that was a few days before I gave birth.

I questioned every nurse who came in about why they thought it was necessary for me to get my epidural now. I wasn't in any pain that I felt I needed drugs to handle. For the record, I hate drugs. I don't even like to take a Tylenol.

When I was younger, and hadn't experienced much physical pain in my life, I had planned on when the time came having an all natural water birth. When it came time to make a decision of what type of birth plan I was going to have, I decided that an epidural would most likely be a good idea since I tend to panic when I am in pain. The last thing that I wanted was to have a panic attack as my baby girl was coming into the world. Calmness was still at the top of my list.

After getting every hospital employees opinion who came into my room on me getting my epidural, and then having a nurse come in to tell me that the anesthesiologist was about to go in for a scheduled c-section and that if I decided I wanted it I would have to wait over an hour for it, I gave in and got the epidural.

The anesthesiologist came into my room, along with my least favorite nurse, and Patrick was asked to leave the room. They told him it would be about 20 minuets. He decided that was a good time to run to Dunkin Donuts and grab a cup of coffee. At this point I was so exhausted that I could care less about the epidural. I wasn't nervous or afraid of the needle at all. I told the anesthesiologist that I was very sensitive to meds. and apparently he didn't take me very serious. Well... Things got serious real fast.

They prepped me... No big deal, they gave me some sort of numbing shot.... No big deal, the gigantic needle went into my spine, not really that big of a deal, then the anesthesiologist injects the meds into my system... Big Deal... Very Big Deal!

I remember the anesthesiologist saying that I may feel warmth, burning and tingling as he pumped the meds into my system. Within seconds of the meds entering my system I was going down and I was going down fast.

I had a true going toward the light experience. I'm not sure if any words came out of my mouth, but I clearly remember the dialogue going on in my head. I was at peace with the fact that I was dying on that table and my life was ending. For the record... In reality, I am not at all ok with my life coming to an end any time before I reach at least 100. It does however give me a sense of peace to know that when life comes to an end, it truly is a peaceful journey. I remember hearing the nurse whisper that my BP was 50/30 as I started to come to. I was sideways in the bed and I had an oxygen mask on my face. Eventually I was able to open my
eyes and Patrick was there. He didn't leave my side after that.

For a while after the epidural ordeal, I was basically on another planet. I felt paralyzed and like I had completely no control over my body and what was happening any more. I couldn't feel the baby move and it freaked me out. I couldn't move my legs, and I wanted to scratch my face off. 

Shortly after I was headed toward the light.... My Dr came walking into my room. I was really happy to see him. He checked me, still no change, then he broke my bag of water. After a brief visit, he told me that he was going to head to the office and didn't expect to need to come back for me until later that evening.

He was wrong.

To be continued.....