Tuesday, November 25, 2014

35 weeks: anticipation

At 35 weeks, I look and feel like I will be going into labor at any moment now. Of course, that doesn't mean that I will but my Dr isn't planning on letting me go past my due date so we have 5 weeks max to go. 

I am constantly thinking about delivery day and become overwhelmed with emotion. We are extremely blessed and overjoyed to have our baby boy in our arms soon. I have had regular ultrasounds this entire pregnancy because our baby's twin has stayed by his side the entire pregnancy. The ultrasounds are to check the location and size of the twin baby for delivery. We have seen our twin baby at every ultrasound and I am very connected to the baby and I feel that our son is very connected to his twin also. When I deliver our son, we will also have to deliver and say goodbye to our sons twin. 

One year ago we found out that we were expecting. That pregnancy ended in a miscarriage on Christmas eve. Almost exactly one year later we will be welcoming our baby boy into the world and saying goodbye to another. Delilah's love and compassion throughout this emotional journey has given me the strength and the ability to heal. I strongly believe that our twin baby will always be a part of me & our son. I believe that our twin baby stayed in place to protect us throughout the remainder of the pregnancy. 

There is an empty feeling that is very difficult to explain that occurs after giving birth. Human life has been developing, living and growing within you for 9 long months. As uncomfortable as that can be with the head spins, kicks, flips and jabs, you become used to it. With every movement you know that your baby is there inside you safe. I know that my heart will be exploding with love, happiness &  gratitude as I hold our son in my arms. The empty feeling will eventually fade and we will always love and think of the babies that blessed us in a very different way through loss.  

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