Look who is 1 Month Old ~ Already!

All of my life I have heard people say "they grow so fast" when it comes to their babies. Already in Delilah's first month I have learned that this is so true. Over the past week, I have found myself saying "she is becoming so independent". Sounds so silly, a 1 month old becoming so independent. 


She was so tiny and extra, extra fragile when she was born. In the hospital, and once we came home, I never slept because I was one of those moms who makes sure her baby is breathing every 5 seconds. I also have a fear of her chocking in her sleep. My fears have eased a tiny bit, and I have managed to get a little bit of rest. 


Another tip that is so true "sleep when the baby is sleeping". Although I agree with this statement, I find it almost impossible. When the baby is sleeping, I get a minuet to wash my face, brush my teeth, change my shirt that most likely has spit up on it, throw in a load of laundry and maybe pour myself a glass of water. By the time Patrick gets home from work, the first thing I want to do is take a shower. It's amazing how fantastic a shower is when you wait all day for it.


 I am slowly starting to get caught up on things, and we are slowly starting to get on a schedule, Kinda. I am very much looking forward to my 6 week after delivery Dr. appointment, and very much looking forward to getting the ok to exercise. Not sure when I will have the energy, or the time for it though, but it will be nice to know that it's an option. 

Delilah 1 Month Old ~ Already!

Welcome to the world Delilah - Part 3

We are now at around hour 18, and I am exhausted. The nurses continue to come into the room about every 15 minuets. The next time the nurse checks me, I have now progressed to 3cm. This is the best news that I have heard in days. They continue to up my pitocin and check in on me. From time to time they move my body and don't say much. I know from the night before that when they do that, it means that the baby's heart rate is dipping again. We have been told over and over that this is not anything to worry about, and her heart rate comes right back up. 


All of a sudden my Dr. came walking in. I assumed that they called him and told him that I was at 3cm and he decided to come right in. I looked at him with so much excitement and I give him a big smile and said "are you excited?, I'm excited"! He looked at me like I was a crazy person and put on his serious face, which I never see from him. He sat down at the edge of my bed. He tells us that the baby is having a hard time and we are going to have to do an emergency c-section. Now my room is packed with nurses and all kinds of equipment is being brought in. They prepped my room for delivery, and also prepped the operating room and called for another Dr. to assist. 


I was completely exhausted at this point and so disappointed. To top things off, my epidural was wearing off and I was getting crazy contractions. All of a sudden I was fully dilated and the baby was coming out. My Dr. looked at me and asked if I wanted to try one push to see if the baby could handle it. I gave it my all, and the baby loved it. Her heart rate was back up, and I was determined to push my baby out as fast as possible. 


The mood completely changed in the room. Patrick was holding one of my legs, and an adorable nurse named Nikki was holding my other leg, my Dr. was in position, and there were at least five other nurses cheering me on. I was completely silent, and focused on my breath. With each contraction, I would take three deep breaths and give three of my best pushes. I was suddenly full of energy and excitement, and not in any pain at all. I remember saying that the baby felt like a fish swimming out of me. Within five contractions, Delilah was out. 


They placed Delilah on my chest and the first thing that I said was "I'll do that again". My Dr. was in shock by the turn of events and at how calmly and quickly I pushed the baby out. I think that it had a lot to do with years of yoga and meditation. I also think that I was due for one part of this pregnancy and birth to be easy, and the delivery was the easiest and best part of it all. 

Welcome to the world Delilah May

Welcome to the world Delilah - Part 2

So we were now 10 hrs into the induction process and so far nothing positive had happened. I had been told that my Dr would be coming in to make his rounds and that he would most likely break my bag of water. I still had hopes that my water would break on its own, but who was I kidding. My body was just not cooperating with me. I was happy to know that at some point in hopefully the near future I would be seeing my Dr and hopefully he would make some magic happen.


Throughout the morning, nurse after nurse would come into my room and try to push me into getting my epidural. I had been having regular contractions for so long that they really were no big deal. I really only had 2 that I thought were going to kill me. One was during a family dinner at my in laws. It came out of nowhere and I screamed. That was the only time I screamed throughout this entire process, and that was a few days before I gave birth.


I questioned every nurse who came in about why they thought it was necessary for me to get my epidural now. I wasn't in any pain that I felt I needed drugs to handle. For the record, I hate drugs. I don't even like to take a Tylenol.


When I was younger, and hadn't experienced much physical pain in my life, I had planned on when the time came having an all natural water birth. When it came time to make a decision of what type of birth plan I was going to have, I decided that an epidural would most likely be a good idea since I tend to panic when I am in pain. The last thing that I wanted was to have a panic attack as my baby girl was coming into the world. Calmness was still at the top of my list.


After getting every hospital employees opinion who came into my room on me getting my epidural, and then having a nurse come in to tell me that the anesthesiologist was about to go in for a scheduled c-section and that if I decided I wanted it I would have to wait over an hour for it, I gave in and got the epidural.


The anesthesiologist came into my room, along with my least favorite nurse, and Patrick was asked to leave the room. They told him it would be about 20 minuets. He decided that was a good time to run to Dunkin Donuts and grab a cup of coffee. At this point I was so exhausted that I could care less about the epidural. I wasn't nervous or afraid of the needle at all. I told the anesthesiologist that I was very sensitive to meds. and apparently he didn't take me very serious. Well... Things got serious real fast.


They prepped me... No big deal, they gave me some sort of numbing shot.... No big deal, the gigantic needle went into my spine, not really that big of a deal, then the anesthesiologist injects the meds into my system... Big Deal... Very Big Deal!


I remember the anesthesiologist saying that I may feel warmth, burning and tingling as he pumped the meds into my system. Within seconds of the meds entering my system I was going down and I was going down fast.

I had a true going toward the light experience. I'm not sure if any words came out of my mouth, but I clearly remember the dialogue going on in my head. I was at peace with the fact that I was dying on that table and my life was ending. For the record... In reality, I am not at all ok with my life coming to an end any time before I reach at least 100. It does however give me a sense of peace to know that when life comes to an end, it truly is a peaceful journey. I remember hearing the nurse whisper that my BP was 50/30 as I started to come to. I was sideways in the bed and I had an oxygen mask on my face. Eventually I was able to open my

eyes and Patrick was there. He didn't leave my side after that.

For a while after the epidural ordeal, I was basically on another planet. I felt paralyzed and like I had completely no control over my body and what was happening any more. I couldn't feel the baby move and it freaked me out. I couldn't move my legs, and I wanted to scratch my face off. 


Shortly after I was headed toward the light.... My Dr came walking into my room. I was really happy to see him. He checked me, still no change, then he broke my bag of water. After a brief visit, he told me that he was going to head to the office and didn't expect to need to come back for me until later that evening.


He was wrong.


To be continued.....

Welcome to the world Delilah - Part 1

Now that Delilah is almost 1 month old (I cant believe it), I am getting my first chance to sit down and blog about her birth. I'm extremely sleep deprived, so please excuse me if I ramble.


Our sweet baby girl sure took her sweet time coming into the world. She also had a lot of fun playing tricks on me. I spent the last 10 days of my pregnancy in what my Dr's called phase 1 of labor. I would go in for my regular appointment and they would tell me that I was having real contractions that were consistent and they would be surprised if I didn't go into full labor that night. 10 days later and another visit to the office still no change. My Dr finally returned from what I assume was an amazing tropical vacation, and he scheduled me for an induction. Being induced was not what I had hoped for, but at that point, it had to be done.


On January 4th, Patrick's birthday, we went into the hospital for the induction. At 8pm on that Wednesday night the induction began. We walked into the hospital, well I waddled, and we went to the front desk and told them who we were. I had my pillows in hand along with my water, and Pat had my suitcase. The sweet security guard said "this must not be your first" I smiled and told him it was, and he said he was shocked by my calmness. Calmness... a major part of my plan. I really wanted to enjoy our birth experience. As we waited in the lobby for the women who escorted us to the maternity ward to come get us, we were showered with smiles and kind words of good luck and congratulations by complete strangers who I'm sure were not there for good reasons. I loved all of the smiles and kind words, and I was so happy to help put a smile on these hospital visitors faces.


Our maternity ward escort was not so nice. She thought I was ridiculous to bring my own pillows to the hospital. She called me an armature. The birthing bed was the most uncomfortable "bed" I have ever been in, and I spent 5 days in it. I would not have survived without my body and memory foam pillow. Lucky for her we didn't cross paths again.


We were brought to our room #232 and I was told to put on my gown and then hit the call button for the nurse. This was all getting started very quickly, and without any visit or word from my Dr or any Dr for that matter. This is when I learned that the nurses basically run the show here. The first of what would be at least 20 nurses that we had over our 5 days in the hospital came in to get me prepped for the induction. Next up.. a women with paper work for me to sign... Followed by a women to take my blood... Followed by a blood taking specialist to find my veins to get my IV started... Followed by a nurse to set up my IV drip and pitocin bag and baby heart rate monitor. Throughout the night, someone was in our room at least every 15 minuets either adjusting the heart rate monitor, repositioning me, changing my IV bag or turning up and then back down my pitocin drip. It was a very long night, sleep was impossible, and my nerves were starting to kick in. I would have a nurse who was either super fantastic, or one who was horrific and I wanted to kick out of my room. From 8pm Wednesday night to 6am Thursday morning, my body was still not progressing. I was still stuck at 1cm, and the baby's heart rate was dropping.


To be continued...

Induction.

I didn't think that it was going to take us as long as it did to get pregnant. I thought that I was going to love every minuet of being pregnant. I thought that my body would naturally progress the labor process and let me push this baby out. I had hoped that my Dr. would be around, or at least someone from his staff when I needed them. Things don't always work out the way that you plan or hope for.


I have been stuck in phase one of labor since last Thursday at 1am. Who knew that real labor could start and then take days to progress,  or not even progress at all, not me. My parents have been in town staying with us for a week and patiently awaiting their 1st grandchild's arrival. We have all been as patient as possible. We have been stuck in an "any minuet now" phase for 6 days. Thankfully my Dr. is back from his 11 day vacation. Today we were scheduled to see him and guess what, he was stuck at the hospital. So the office called and said I would have to see the nurse practitioner again. We like her a lot, but I was really hoping to see my Dr. so he could see how much I needed him to do something, anything. When we got to the office, all of the ladies in the office and the nurse practitioner were socked to see that this baby girl had not arrived yet. I'm super well done at this point.


Last night I was contracting so hard for 2hrs with 3 minuets between contractions. We called the on-call Dr. and were all set to walk out the door when once again my labor stopped. So we stayed home and managed to get some rest. By morning nothing other than some mild cramping was happening. I was counting down the minuets until my 3pm appointment. 


Tomorrow night (Patrick's Birthday) I am being induced. My body has not made any progress since they last checked me on Thursday, and its looking like it isn't going to do it on its own. So tomorrow night we go in, and by Thursday evening Jan. 5Th hopefully we will have our baby girl in our arms. 


I had hoped not to have to be induced, but I am excepting the fact that this is what has to happen at this point. Now I am hoping that everything will go smoothly and that I will have the ability to push her out on my own. 

Due Dates

Even though most babies are not born on their actual due date, we have been given 3 so you would think that she would arrive on or around one of them. My doctor thought that I would go into full labor a little early, right around Christmas, since I was having very early contractions and since my husband is so tall the doctor was anticipating a big baby. 

12/27/11

Today is the earliest due date that we were given and due date #1 from our doctor. I had my heart set on this one since it is the earliest date, and in December. 

1/1/12

Is our 2nd due date that we were given from the doctor. This due date came from the 1st ultrasound at 8 weeks. January 1st is my favorite day of the year. I love a new beginning. Having the baby on this day sure would make for a great start to the year. 

1/4/12

This is our 3rd due date. This date came from the digital fertility monitor that we used to get pregnant. This is probably the most reliable due date since it pinpointed our exact day of conception. This is also my husbands birthday and I'm pretty sure that just like our dog, our baby girl is also a daddy's girl. I think it would be very special if they shared their birthday, but I hope that she does not make me suffer another week. 


   My mom was planning on driving in today, but the snow down south has made for a change of plans. So tomorrow, my mom will be driving in and my dad will be arriving from California. Hopefully their arrivals will be just what the baby has been waiting for. 


   We had an ultrasound 2 weeks ago that the doctor ordered to check on her size. On Dec. 14th they estimated that she was about 7 pounds. They said she would average about a 1/2 pound gain per additional week. So now we are looking at 8 pounds. Oh and they said give or take a pound which means that she could be 9 pounds. This was the first ultrasound that we really got a good look at her, and that they were able to say that she is definitely a girl. She looks so much like Patrick and his dad. She even seems to have his beautiful eyelashes and a whole lot of hair. Oh and apparently she is a smoker. Seriously why does she look like she is wearing an outfit and smoking?

Looking at this makes me want her in my arms right now.

FULL TERM!

I am so very excited to be so close to the arrival of our baby girl. I'm sure that this is about the time that I should start panicking about the delivery, but I really haven't yet. I think that I should so I can go ahead and get that out of the way now. I'm nervous about possibly being alone and going into labor while Patrick is downtown on a job site. This week has been eventful, just like just about every other week of my pregnancy. I have been experiencing just about every symptom that occurs as the labor process begins. My baby bump has dropped so low that it looks totally different now. The drop has been a blessing to my esophagus. I can now turn in bed without throwing up, and even almost sleep without sitting straight up. Last night I was even able to have a little sweet basil marinara sauce on my spinach ravioli. I have missed tomatoes so very much among many other foods and drinks that I have had to completely avoid.


The baby is now super low, I'm talking as low as she can go. Her movements have changed. She has always been very active, and now she has slowed her activity. When she moves it is more of a hard, heavy "get me out of here" nudge. My entire belly swings and you can see exactly where she is pocking me. Every movement feels like she is going to push herself right out. I'm pretty sure that she is not Hercules and that will not happen, but she sure is trying hard.


I have cleaned, cleaned and cleaned some more. Our house is always clean (because my husband is a clean freak and loves to clean) so there is really nothing more for me to clean. He always cleans over my work anyways. Like when I clean the counters I catch him doing it minuets after me because apparently my form left streaks in the granite. I don't see any streaks or smudges. I do however avoid the glass and stainless steal because I will make it look worse. He also rearranges the dishes in the dishwasher every day. So after cleaning and organizing the baby's clothes and cloth diapers, I have moved on to organizing everything else in the house that I can find to organize or clean out. I get aggravated when my body starts to fall apart and I have to sit down. I'm so tired of sitting around. I have never craved an intense workout so bad in my life. My legs have been so restless it's almost unbearable. I hope that after the baby is born that I still have the strong desire to exercise. I have never appreciated my pre-pregnancy body more than now.


Tomorrow there is a full moon. Some say that the full moon brings on labor. I say bring it on moon.